Edmund, the peeping Tom.

Edmund is a spider that lives in my bathroom. He showed up last week, I think he's just in from France. I don't know what kind of spider he is, being that I am not an arachnologist, just the creepy, 8-legged, freak-me-out kind. Hes about a half an inch across or so, but they say size doesn't matter.

Now being the somewhat superstitious type, I do not kill spiders under most circumstances, for fear it will bring bad luck. I mean, really, spiders are good for the environment, eating pests and such. But how many pests can be in the place where I brush my teeth every day? Is this some odd, arachnid commentary on my personal hygiene? Anyway. I was standing in my shower that morning, naked of course, paying heed to my backside with the scrubby and I look up. There he was, staring at me with those beady, multi-faceted eyes (I knew he was looking at me because he was leering). Of course, my initial reaction was to give him a good soaking with the shower head and send him to a watery grave, but other than giving me some very inappropriate looks, he was harming nothing. As long as he stayed in that nook near the ceiling, we would get along just fine. He was informed of just that and seemed to agree.

The next time I got in the shower, there he was again, and this time, one of his friends was on the side of the tub. Much smaller, I think his name was Squiggy. All right, I thought, he's bringing in the guests. I covered Squiggy gingerly with the shower curtain and went about my business. As I turned to take up the razor, there was Edmund half way down the wall, staring again. He was about a foot from my head- too close for comfort. I threatened him with a stream of water and he skittered back up the wall. "Edmund", I said, "you just stay up there and we will get along fine. I hate spiders but I'm a reasonable woman.". There he sat for the rest of the show.

Now, every morning, I greet him and ask him how his kids are doing (they don't write him or visit very often). He smokes his strange French cigarettes, adjusts his beret in the most becoming manner, and states that he his here for only a short while. "In the meantime", he asked "bring me a few flies, would you?"

{previouisly posted 11-14-06}